Perhaps the problem is not that I do not know what to write, that I can not. Perhaps the problem is that in my head is a whirlwind of sensations and emotions that changes and becomes different with the speed of a reading program that goes into random mp3 from Apocalyptica to Celestine, from Einaudi to Dream Theater, and then I do not have the time you grab almost anything, let alone put it in writing here on blog. Maybe after all this absence I feel like when I was starting this blog, with doubt about what to put in it, how to paint the walls and the location where to put the furniture. In reality, however, this blog has always gone on alone, I wrote a bit 'of everything, when and how I happened, maybe I just unaccustomed. Even facebook, of course, has its own fault, having found so many friends that I lost on the road takes me a bit 'of time to weave the web of relationships untied. And it is certainly less demanding, facebook, blogs of this secret, only mine, but yours as I do not know. There is much more of me in that space where there is my face, the face of my friends, my age and what I do during the day.
What I'm doing in this post and take ownership of a dimension that I have left out for a while ', perhaps one of the thesis was just an excuse, maybe no, I definitely need to concentrate on my thesis, but also while I was writing the hours below doing nothing, except at the end. Well, here I am, maybe this time really.
Needless to say, something changes, they told me in so many. Something changed after graduation. Do you find yourself in a limbo of life, even if in theory I'm supposed to be an advantage because a job, as detached from my degree, I do.
I'm participating in the organization of an association of small events local, and that, while it gratifies me, on the other mortify me, because I do not pay a penny, and I can not even sign the releases that I write. E 'unnerving, as if I snatch my work from the hands, as if it were obvious and clear that being young and recent graduates should not expect an acknowledgment. I should not be there in this game, I'm yet to meet people to get involved. But I should not be there. Further on I will try to be clear with the types of the association. My name and my skills are recognized.
Then ... then I decided to vote despite the disgust. I'm going to vote in European, and then to the next, and the next, because of worse così non si può, davvero. Ascolto i tg, leggo i giornali e mi viene la nausea. Ma se il voto è l'unico strumento a mia disposizione lo userò, continuerò ad usarlo.
Poi. Poi ho cambiato i miei programmi per il futuro. Non andrò a vivere nella città dove ho fatto l'università, ma in un'altra, perchè sarà più semplice per motivi di logistica. E sarà tutto un ricominciare da capo, fare nuove amicizie, conoscere una città diversa, e questo se da un lato mi eccita dall'altro mi fa paura. Mi fa paura soprattutto perchè temo che mi sentirò sradicata, perchè non c'è il mare, perchè non ci sono le mie strade nè i miei amici, non c'è la mia taverna, non ci sono i miei gradini. Ma altri. Da conoscere. E questo è quello che mi eccita. Una vita completamente nuova. Nuove strade da percorrere, nuove scorciatoie da scoprire, la caccia al bar perfetto, alla taverna per il vinello la sera.
Ricostruirò altrove la dimensione palermitana che non vivo più da qualche anno. Forse la nostalgia finalmente farà spazio al presente.
