What I'm doing is terribly demanding. I'm trying to reinvent myself.
Since I graduated, in theory, I should take back all those things I had left over: my passions such as music, reading, writing and travel. In fact so much time has passed and my life was filled with so many other things that even now I can take care of them. I find myself enjoying an afternoon off from work I spend lounging on the beach with a friend, without having to take the worry of a book review dappresso.
Spending time looking for new music, a new dimension, trying to catch up with what's going on, politics, ideals. But everything appear jagged, and so I realize that the university was largely an excuse. It 's a matter of redefinition.
The story with my partner needs to be redefined: a serious project in front of his family, like almost all the guys I was told, he was afraid. I will not go into the merits of his reasons. It is not a blog and are not his thoughts and his words. What has happened however, after the initial blow, led me to reflect on what I want from a story. I found myself more demanding, I found myself, especially, not to distinguish clearly the desire to stay with a person from the fear of not having side. I do not know what I mean.
have always been convinced that being with someone is to go along well, if we are uncomfortable, if that person makes you feel bad, not worth going forward. The reality is much more complicated, there are a lot of feelings, dreams, fears in the midst of creating the gray between black and white. And sex, uh, sex. How much sex can be difficult and thought can be as simple as free sex. Free sex with her man ... where is the boundary between white and black? Where is the border between desire and fear?
So, then ... then.
I find myself getting to know again, after having been convinced for years to be grown in one direction, perhaps it was not true, maybe I was just fond to my way of becoming. Perhaps I should dust off my old beliefs and challenge them. Understand where the boundary between the idea that I myself and the ideas I have in me, and realize the differences.
Meanwhile I try to surround myself with friends, new friends, old friends. And a new work project, created by the memory of an old project with two of my colleagues. I had almost forgotten. I have whole life ahead.
